Winter has always been about the oversized cozy sweaters.
It’s true. This is what winter has always been about. Always. That’s why, in most Christmas specials, when they find the true meaning of Christmas, they focus on oversized cozy sweaters and how that’s what winter is all about. “Always has been,” chimes in a mysterious old man. Guess what. It’s Santa. They say he died near a display of Club Monaco sweaters ten years ago this very night. But he’s been living on Fake-Your-Death Island with Tupac, having ghost prostitutes shipped in. Oh wait, they don’t need to be ghosts if they only faked their deaths. Ah well, too late now.
“The weather is so hot today, it’s perfect for a seersucker suit, or better yet, killing yourself.”— Dave Shumka
“I love how men in the ’80s wore those big suits with huge shoulders, like Gordon Gekko, William “Refrigerator” Perry, and RoboCop.”— Dave Shumka
My hilarious pal Dave Shumka put together an amazing slideshow of ugly shoes designed by musicians for the CBC Music blog. Included are a pair of Kanye West shoes that apparently were designed to make a lady look like a tauntaun, a pair of weirdly salmon-colored shoes by Bon Iver, and a pair by Carlos Santana that is remarkable only in that it is very confusing that Carlos Santana has a women’s shoe line.
This is the kind of important insider information that Put This On readers crave.
And me. Also: ME.
ONE HAT SIZE TO RULE THEM ALL.
Listening to the latest episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself and heard co-host Dave Shumka mention his hat size.
7 and 3/8 buddies!
What a Sweater Is
I’m doing a holiday special for CBC Radio 3. It airs on cbcradio3.com on Christmas Day at 5pm Pacific, December 27th at 5am Pacific, and December 31st at 1pm Pacific. It features stuff like this clip, great moments in sweater history, and sweater talk with Dan Werb of Woodhands and Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat. You like?
My friend Dave Shumka has created a brilliant “All-Star Tribute to Sweaters” for CBC Radio 3, which is excerpted above. This is what you should do on Christmas, Canada. Get on that.
"According to Wikipedia, a sweater is ‘a butt sandwich, made out butt chunks, and covered in butt juice. ’ You know what? I think this may have been vandalized."
Thanks to all the Put This On readers who attended our annual conference MaxFunCon this past weekend. It’s sort of my chance to see the impact this blog has on people’s lives, as well-dressed men come up to me and tell me stories about how schlubby they were before.
I hope I’ll see you next year!
“Product idea: boyfriend jeans for men.”— Dave Shumka
“I like that the lines around the crotch of my jeans are referred to as “whiskering” because my penis is a cute kitty’s nose.”— Dave Shumka