How To Save Money By Pretending You’re Shopping In Japan

October 18, 2020

I spend a lot of time buying clothes from Japan. In fact, about ten years ago, I stopped shopping at sensible stores such as J. Crew, so I could go through a complex network of Japanese proxies to buy clothes that basically look like J. Crew, but don’t fit and I can’t return. For whatever reason, menswear obsessives love the Japanese version of some product they can likely find in the United States (and, similarly, style obsessives in Japan often think the American version of something is cooler than what they can get locally). I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side.

So here’s a lifehack: Install the Google Translate extension into your web browser (here’s the one for Chrome). Now go to J. Crew, translate everything from English to Japanese, and just pretend you’re shopping from Japan. This way, you can save a ton of money, invest in your future, and wear clothes that actually fit. Let’s take a look at how effectively this works:




Look at these coats! Instead of boring, descriptive words such as PrimaLoft (yawn), which actually give you an idea of what you’re buying, now everything looks supremely cool and desirable. That Blackwatch tartan looks so chic!



Are these the boring peacoats and topcoats you can find in every American mall, or Margaret Howell exclusives made for United Arrows? I can no longer tell!




Look at this chore coat! I bet it was hand-dipped into natural indigo by Japanese artisans trained in a centuries-old tradition. I have to have one!



I don’t know what rope dyed means, but I bet these were rope dyed!




Look at all these Beams shirts! Does anyone know if I should size up?



Is this an exclusive colorway from Buzz Rickson? I think so!




Are these heavily discounted socks that J. Crew couldn’t move at full price? Or special edition fisherman socks from Anonymous Ism that were made in collaboration with designer and fisherman Tokito Yoshida? I don’t know, but now I want a pair!

And that’s it. This is how you can save money by pretending you’re shopping in Japan. If you’re in Japan, you can employ this same trick by translating every page from Japanese to English.

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