Q And Answer: Bowler Hats

October 7, 2009

CH20-BLK, 12/9/99, 12:48 PM, 8C, 1018×648 (1124+1536), 25%, better push6, 1/15, R705, G520, B595,

Abe from Cincinnatti writes to ask:

I’ve always wanted to get a bowler hat. Not to be ironic- I really like bowler hats. My question is: can I get away with wearing one with just going-out casual wear? Would it look weird if I went to the movies in a nice t-shirt, jeans, tennies and bowler hat? Or would I have to do the full edwardian get-up to make it look OK?

Before you buy yourself a bowler hat, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Am I a college freshman putting together a Halloween costume and thinking about maybe majoring in film because A Clockwork Orange totally blew my mind and helped me understand the crazy turmoil that goes on inside me every time I see a lady or eat some shrooms?
  2. Am I starring as the father in a touring production of Mary Poppins?
  3. Do I have the use of a time machine?

If the answer to all of those questions is no, then don’t buy or wear a bowler hat.

(Sidenote: only a slight variation in the questions, involving The Music Man, is required to determine whether you should buy or wear a boater.)